Bloody Marvellous!

The Last Page

2007-07-14T23:13:00.000-07:00

It's Bloody Marvellous isn't it? You start a second blog in order to keep the first one focused on its subject matter, then realise that you have two blogs with such general remits that everything you want to write about has a foot in each camp:

"It's about something I hate, so it must go in Bloody Marvellous."
"Yeah, but it's also about your life in Riyadh so it should belong on Neal of Arabia."
I have conversations like this with myself all the time.

Having two such blogs is like having two wives (so my friends in Utah tell me). You can't give one the attention it deserves without neglecting the other.

Therefore I sadly announce that this is the final posting I shall make to Bloody Marvellous! From now on everything, from holidays to Embassy functions to pet loves and peeves, will go on Neal of Arabia. It's a shame really because in some ways I enjoyed writing BM more, but the advantages outweigh the disadvantages believe me.

The full content of Bloody Marvellous! will remain on-line for your reading pleasure (who am I trying to kid?). Seriously there are some funny bits in here if you've got the time and energy to search them out, so next time you're looking for a diversion to put off doing something more responsible you could do worse than have a trawl through these archives.

This is Bloody Marvellous!, signing off. If any of you choose to run two blogs at the same time, make sure you have hobbies contrasting enough to make it work, like paintballing and crochet, for example.

Transformers: The Movie

2007-07-11T09:39:00.000-07:00

We saw the new Transformers movie while in Kuala Lumpur recently. We'd ended up in a large shopping mall with multiplex cinema AND an IMAX screen and found that Transformers was showing in IMAX. I had not heard that a new Transformers movie was coming out to it was a complete surprise to me. I took the kids to see it while Karen got some pampering in the mall's Spa -- Yes, you heard right -- the mall had a spa too.

You remember Transformers the cartoon series from the Eighties? I don't too well but I remember the TV ads for the action figures, so I knew roughly what to expect. What I didn't expect was to enjoy the film so much. Films like this usually either take themselves too seriously or go to the opposite extreme and just become a comedy. The new movie successfully does a bit of both, and for every high-octane action sequence there is a quirky comdey moment to match. The special effects are totally stunning, as we've come to expect with CGI, and the plot is pretty good too. All in all a very entertaining family movie, and I'll definitely be getting the DVD.

Check out the official movie site, and the imdb page.

Cheap 'n' Nasty Games

2007-06-27T02:12:00.000-07:00

Are you a Nintendo Man or a Sony Man? Maybe you're a girl! Whatever you are, if you choose fancy graphics and sound over gameplay you're wrong, simple as that.

Nintendo are the gameplay masters and the Super Mario series of games boasts some of the best gameplay anywhere, ever. All of which explains my bitter disappointment when I failed to find Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga for my Game Boy in the shops yesterday.

It's actually quite hard to find genuine video games in Riyadh: even supermarket chains like Carrefour carry pirated copies. You can tell a pirated cartridge by the cheap, over-colourful printing on the box, the lack of a manual, and the fact that 9 out of 10 cartridges don't work properly -- but at least they're cheap.

The last shop I went in had hundreds of titles for Game Boy, XBox, PlayStation (1 & 2), and all were phoney. By the time the Indian shopkeeper had told me he didn't have my game of choice I was emotionally committed to making a purchase, so settled on The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap, which is one of the few Zelda games I haven't played. I tested it in the shop and it seemed to work fine so I handed over my 35 Riyals (about £5).

Of course once I got it home I found I couldn't save my progress, which is kind of important in a massive role-playing adventure.

I took it back to the shop this morning and the man disappeared for a few minutes, then came back with -- joy! -- a copy of Mario & Luigi! He'd obviously knocked this one up sometime yesterday afternoon on the off chance that I came back. My joy was short-lived however when I tested the game out: this one wouldn't save either. I did find two games I fancied and that worked properly: DK King of Swing and Kirby: Nightmare in Dream Land. Well, sometimes you have to blow into the cartridge and knock it on the table before loading it in your Game Boy to get it load, but THEN it works properly.

Fair play, the guy let me have both games in exchange for Zelda so I left feeling quite pleased with myself. At the next shop I found another copy of M&L, and this one worked just fine so I bought that too.

Today's haul

Three Game Boy games for around £10: bargain. I don't normally agree with buying pirated stuff, but when you can't get the originals and you need it there and then what choice do you have?

Cloud Atlas

2007-06-23T23:13:00.000-07:00

One of the problems with trying to be a writer is that you have to spend a lot of time reading. Now if you're reading a book just for the pleasure of it then reading is no problem at all but one of life's greatest joys, but if you're a budding writer then reading the work of others can be quite demoralising.

The novel I'm currently reading is Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell, and while the Reader in me is enjoying it immensely the Writer is being punched to the ground and savegely kicked where he lies. Reading stunningly good writing like this makes me realise how high and steep is the hill I have chosen to attempt.

Cloud Atlas is a series of six stories, all set in different times yet interconnected in sometimes simple, sometimes ingenious ways. The book begins with the first story, which is set in the nineteenth century, and moves through the stories (and jumps forward in time) until the sixth story is introduced in the middle of the book. That's the point I'm at right now but I was intrigued to see how the second half of the book would be handled so I flicked ahead and discovered that we have only the first half of each story, and that each will be revisited and finished in the latter half, travelling backward in time in the process.

What we have here is a mountain of a book whose peak I'm about to reach before beginning the descent to base camp. It makes me wonder how one can come up with such a multi-layered idea in the first place, let alone map it out to the required level of detail.

The novel was shortlisted for the Man Booker Prize in 2004, the prize that year being won by The Line of Beauty by Alan Hollinghurst.

I won't comment on the novel's merits until I've finished it but I will say that I am finding it a fascinating read and a maddening showcase of just how inventive and compelling writers can be. I look at my own scribblings to date and slump with dejection at the comparison.

Still, I bet even David Mitchell had to start somewhere and has some early drafts that he's not too proud of. Please say it's true!

Sites about sites

2007-06-20T05:37:00.003-07:00

Don't get me wrong, the world wide web is a wonderful thing, but lately I've been feeling a little swamped by all the sites, directories, blog search engines, and community portals that are supposed to make your life on-line easier, but have lately been having the opposite effect on me.

These are coming at me from a couple of different directions. Firstly there are those sites that help you promote your blog(s), propogating content around the internet in RSS feeds, indexing content for blog search engines, and those that gather statistics about your readership. Sites I've found/use in this category are:-

ClustrMaps - See map on left. They capture info about the geographical location of people hitting your site, the upshot being that over time your little world map is peppered with red blobs showing you where your readers are. I am currently a ClustrMaps User of the Month, which is nice.
Feedburner - RSS aggregator that captures your content and sends it to various hubs where people who use RSS readers can pick up their subcribed content. Essentially RSS feeds let you gather all the blogs you read into one place and read the content there instead of having to go to each site individually, and some RSS readers even have an off-line mode, so you can read Bloody Marvellous! on the plane :-)
Technorati - is a blog about blogs. They have rankings and log every time somebody adds your blog to their (Technorati) favourites. You can also search every registered blog here.
Statcounter - this is the latest one I've been playing with and it's very cool. It's a free service that gathers stats about all my visitors: not just location but also what operating system and web browser they're using, their screen resolution, and something called the "referring page". With this I can see when people land on my blogs as the result of a Google search, complete with the search term they typed in. If you have a blog of your own I recommend this service.

Then there are those famous ones I haven't tried yet:

del.ici.ous - no idea what this site is about but I see references to it everywhere
Digg - ditto

The second area where I'm feeling like a victim of the web firehose is in those sites aimed at teen networking and on-line discussion. Sites like MySpace, Bebo, Facebook, MSN Spaces, and Tagged are all about teenagers creating their own spaces and linking to all their friends. My two kids are obsessed with these, which means I have to be too if I'm to monitor what they're doing on-line and keep them out of harm's way. So I have to accept when Abigail invites me to be a Facebook buddy or Elliot creates a new Bebo page so I can make sure their on-line behaviour is as exemplary as in the real world.

Of course the result of all this is, not only do I have about twenty userid's and passwords to remember, I spend at least half my time on-line checking stats, accepting invitations, reading teen comments tht r all wrtn lk ths kwl lol (gives me a headache) and scanning my blog stats logs.

It's a good job I've got nothing better to do!

Lost in Translation: Episode 8

2007-06-16T01:53:00.000-07:00

More Riyadh signs that don't quite make the journey from Arabic to English unscathed:

"Please use other door"

Boneless Girl

2007-06-10T02:00:00.000-07:00

Here she is, the star of iGoogle's game gadgets, it's Boneless Girl!
(code hacked to make her appear here without kind permission of TheWeather.TK: I hope they don't mind!)

If you're ever stuck for something to do just come back here and watch Boneless Girl fall about for a while. Actually she's not boneless at all, just floppy really (and a bit double-jointed), but Floppy Girl doesn't sound so good does it? You can watch idly as she plummets through the sky, and go "Ouch!" and "Eewww!" as her limbs get bashed into all sort of unnatural positions.

WARNING: BONELESS GIRL CAN BE AN ADDICTIVE WAY TO WASTE TIME.
PROCEED ONLY IF YOU ARE A HARDCORE PROCRASTINATOR.

If she gets stuck you can grab any part of her anatomy (Oo-er!) with your mouse and either drag her through impossibly small gaps or fling her spinning up into the sky.

If you have iGoogle (and if you don't, get it!), you can add Boneless Girl to your page by clicking here.

Enjoy!

iGoogle: fun and easier than writing

2007-06-09T04:57:00.000-07:00

Continuing my informal series on things you can do to put off doing any creative writing, this morning I discovered the web's perfect diversion for anyone wishing to further their procrastinating career: iGoogle.

Here's my iGoogle home page. You can add and delete gadgets with a couple of clicks, and rearrange them on the page by dragging 'n' dropping.

iGoogle is the new name for Google Homepage, and it's basically a fully customisable page which you can use instead of the regular www.google.com or www.google.co.uk. Once you have a Google account you can populate your iGoogle page with Gadgets -- small programs that each do one specific thing like givea weather forecast or show the BBC news headlines. There are all sorts of gadgets including games, and once your page is full of stuff you can just create a new tab and start filling up again. One really neat thing is the option to let Google fill your new tab automatically based on its name. Elliot, for example, created a tab called "Guitar" and Google filled it with guitar chord gadgets, tabulature finders, and other things a guitarist would want to have at their fingertips.

When you create a new tab you can have Google populate it with relevant content to the tab name. Here's my Writing tab.

By far and away the best gadget I've found so far is Boneless Girl: a completely pointless desktop diversion featuring a bikini-clad girl with no bones falling through a sky filled with large bubbles. As she hits each bubble or group of bubbles her body twists and turns in the kind of improbable positions you'd expect a girl with no bones to get into. It might not sound that interesting but the animation is so good I just can't stop watching it. I've put Boneless Girl on my Games tab in iGoogle and can happily waste half an hour watching her bounce around, dragging her out of tight spots with my mouse and flinging her across the sky for more painful-looking bouncing.

When I'm feeling really lazy I can head on over to my Games tab and work through a Sudoku while playing Deal Or No Deal and watching Boneless Girl go through her paces all at the same time. I've only been at it a day and already I've forgotten how I used to waste time before iGoogle.

It's one of those things you've just got to see to understand. To get your own iGoogle go to www.google.com (or .co.uk, your local Google) and create an account, then click iGoogle to get started.

It's fun, and a great way to not write.

Lost In Translation: Episode 7

2007-06-07T06:47:00.000-07:00

Went supermarket shopping in Carrefour the other day: an excursion that is incomplete without roaming the children's clothing dept for garments bearing nonsensical slogans. They are an attempt to "be cool" by sporting slogans in English, but in reality they are designed, made, distributed, retailed, bought and worn by people who have no idea what the slogans say, let alone that they don't actually make any sense:

...then the other day I saw this new cafe in the Diplomatic Quarter.

My "Sandwish" is that it wouldn't get in my eyes, mouth and hair when I'm quadbiking!

Lost in Translation: Episode 6

2007-05-30T04:52:00.000-07:00

Another great shop sign found in one of Riyadh's busiest shopping streets:

Click to enlarge

"Salaam Alaykum. Got anything for a black eye?"

'70s-mania!

2007-05-23T02:08:00.000-07:00

I've just completed bulding a fab playlist of '70s Glam Rock hits for my iPod. This was prompted yesterday when I found (and bought) a couple of excellent "best of" albums in a Riyadh music shop.

When I got home I promptly added them to my iTunes library (which already has some cool '70s stuff), then went on to iTunes Music Store to find all the other favourites that my memory threw up once I started listening to Blockbuster by Sweet.

Here's my '70s playlist:

Page 1 (click to view)

Page 2 (click to view)

Page 3 (click to view)

Page 4 (click to view)

Are all your favourites here or have I missed some? If you're A) not from the UK or B) too young to remember the '70s, does this make any sense at all?

Shang-A-Lang!

"Damn Fine Coffee!"

2007-05-20T21:14:00.000-07:00

The memory of a thing is often better than the thing revisited.

I recently took Twin Peaks Series 1 out of the DVD library because I remember having loved it in the '80s. It was a cult hit: weird, kooky, surprising, dark, edgy, and mysterious. Of course when you watch a murder mystery for the second time you will lose some of the mystery and surprise, but that's OK. You're not re-watching to be surprised, you're doing it to feel again what you felt the first time: that warm, tickly, slightly uncomfortable feeling that you're witnessing something totally original and ground-breaking. Twin Peaks hasn't changed since it was first aired, but I have and the World has. Fashions and music move on, historic events shape our world view, new technology in movies makes the impossible a commodity.

Twin Peaks in 2007 still retains its oddness but it has lost its edge; the clothes and hairstyles show its age, some of the gags seem more contrived than before, the villains seem more comical now rather than the dark menaces they used to be. Simply put, it doesn't scare me anymore.

All of this is unsurprising and understandable. I should have known to expect a different viewing experience this time around shouldn't I? I guess I should have, but the desire to feel again what I felt the first time was too great, and now that it's done, even my memory of it is tarnished.

Do you have s special TV memory that DVD technology is about to jog? Think carefully before opening that box.

Do anything but write

2007-05-06T01:06:00.000-07:00

Yes!

I've finally realised what my first best-selling book is going to be about. It's not going to be fiction though, but a self-help book aimed at all the budding writers out there who are wondering where to start, and searching desperately for inspiration.

It'll be called 100 Ways To Put Off Writing. Here are the first twenty off the top of my head:

1. Watch a movie
2. Make a cup of coffee
3. Water the plants
4. Feed the rabbit
5. Check your email
6. Go to the supermarket
7. Get a skinny triple latte from Starbucks, but make sure it's "to go" so you can get back to your writing.
8. Go rollerblading
9. Go to the DVD library to return some movies and take out some more for later in the week.
10. Write a work To-Do list, then curse when you realise you've accidentally soiled a page of your precious Writer's Journal with work stuff.
11. Check your email
12. Spend an hour troubleshooting why your Linux laptop doesn't keep time very well, then wonder why it's only taken 17 minutes.
13. Feed the rabbit (he looks like he could do with some Rollerblades of his own!)
14. Take out your Writer's Journal and stare at the blank page for half an hour.
15. Check your email
16. Write an email to someone in the hope that they reply, giving you something to check later.
17. Research writing on the internet and write down in your Journal, "It's vitally important to write something every day."
18. Have lunch.
19. Write some drivel on your blog.
20. Do your job.

See? It's easy. Well they say to write about what you know, don't they?

I think my second book will be about the tortuous but worthwhile path to my first book. I can feel a series coming on...

The Old Writing Game

2007-04-30T00:40:00.000-07:00

Yes! I have finally finished my Open University course (A174: Start Writing Fiction). It was only a 12-week unit but it seemed much longer. I chatted with fellow students on an online forum, we did structured activities and posted it there, and we critiqued each other's work. All the way through I was thinking Yes, I want to be a writer and get my first novel published. Can't start yet though can I? Oh no, first I've got to focus on completing the course, THEN I can start being a writer proper.
I went out and bought a nice notebook to serve as my writer's journal, and I've made notes in it (about the course activities). I've even got a smart new Waterman pen that I won in the raffle at a recent Embassy ball. That's right, once this course is out of the way there'll be nothing to stop me. There I'll be, sitting on the grass in the shade of a large oak tree with my pen in my hand, crafting a masterpiece before tea...

Well the course IS over now and reality is very different. I've come to realise that writing is all about motivation, discipline, and staying power. Since the course I've lost my principal excuse for not writing, so I've been coming up with new ones. I'll just make a cup of coffee and some toast, then I'll start.... I'll watch a movie first to get me in the mood... I'll go for a walk to clear my head. If I put into my writing all the energy and creative thought that I put into procrastinating I'd be a bestselling author by now.

This is so frustrating!

Lost in Translation, Episode Five

2007-04-28T02:08:00.000-07:00

Check out this coffee set we saw in a department store:

click to enlarge

Brings a whole new meaning to, "pop round for a coffee" !

A Touch Of Class

2007-04-28T01:25:00.000-07:00

It may be a false economy but I just bought another of those cheap-as-chips DVD players, like the one I bought for the lounge last year. This one is for the children's TV room, because the one we had in there (brought with us from UK, bought at Tesco, just as cheap and nasty) has finally given up the ghost after six years' faithful service.

This time I decided to break with tradition and not buy the new player from a supermarket. Instead I went to Extra, a big electronics superstore chain (a bit like Currys in UK), determined to step up a couple of rungs on the quality ladder. I failed totally. The first thing Karen and I saw when we entered the showroom was a big stack of boxes advertising a play-anything, anywhere Taiwanese DVD player for 189 Riyals (about £25). Just like my other one, this has a usb port and slot for a memory card on the front, so you can view your digital photos on the TV screen, and this one even has a karaoke function, although I have yet to play with that particular feature.

The brand name is 'Class'. Says it all really.

It looks identical to my ATC player. Even the setup menus are the same!

You Hi-Fi snobs out there may be thinking I'm wasting my money on this rubbish, and that I can't possibly expect to get the ultimate movie-watching experience with something so cheap. You may be right, but I don't care. It's good enough, and so cheap that I can keep my options open for when HD is ready for primetime.

Off to watch a movie now...

Workout Cook-out

2007-04-26T05:59:00.000-07:00

I'm becoming a bit of a lard-ass.

Too much food, too much of the wrong kind of food. Too much to drink. Virtually no exercise. All of these add up to weight gain, and my trousers are starting to notice. We all know that clothes sizes can vary enormously and that one store's garments "come up small" or vice versa, but when that happens to me I'm very subjective in the way I react. If I buy a pair of 36" waist trousers and they feel loose, I kid myself that I'm losing weight, but if they're tight I blame the store for getting the size wrong. Guess I'm not unusual in that...

So, after a long break I went out Rollerblading the other day, just for a few minutes to get back into the swing (roll) of it, and today, for the first time in weeks, I actually feel like going out skating. Right now there's nothing I'd enjoy more than a good 30 minutes' vigorous skate around the Diplomatic Quarter to get my blood pumping and some fresh air in my lungs. Also we're going to a black tie ball tonight so a workout would be good prepartion for a big night out.

Trouble is, it's 45 degrees centigrade outside!

Blow it, I'll go anyway. If you don't hear from me I've probably keeled over from heat exhaustion!

Lost in Translation Episode Four

2007-04-21T03:54:00.000-07:00

Blimey, I not only remembered that in my last LIT posting I started using episode numbers, I also remembered the right number for this one... scary.

I had to shoot up to the DQ mini-mart last night to get supplies for the childrens' packed lunches, and by the checkout I found this flyer for a special offer at the local Italian Restaurant.

click to enlarge

Oh No! It's all in Arabic: drat. How am I supposed to find out all about this great offer now? Not to worry: the nice people at Scalini have had the foresight to print the English version on the back:

click to enlarge

So, that's made perfect sense of it! All I now need to do is find out how a vagannzzzaaaa buffet lunch differs from an ordinary one, and whether the whole family will like it prepared in a live flam way. Still, at least the moods of sauces are combined with my taste to the pasta of my kind. You can't say fairer than that, can you?

A174 late!

2007-04-14T21:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back home in Riyadh after a hectic few weeks, what with a two-week trip to the UK preceded by my nine-day trip to Salt Lake City for Novell's BrainShare conference.

I had a great time, but unfortunately I am now behind with my Open University course A174: Start Writing Fiction. There are just under two weeks to go in this twelve-week course, and I reckon I'm about two weeks behind on the coursework exercises.

The bit that really matters is the end of course assignment. That's the bit you get marked on, and also the bit with a firm deadline, so I'll make sure I hit that and get it in on time, even if it means leaving some of the later exercises to do in my own time after the course has finished.

Once it's all over I'll post some of my assignment work here too, and maybe you'll let me know what you think of it.

Do not adjust your set.

2007-04-02T06:51:00.001-07:00

We're having a fine old time in Edinburgh: seeing the sights, lots of walking, good food and even a dram or two.

But, we have no internet connection where we're staying, so blogging has been a no-no for the last few days.

I can send posts like this from my Blackberry but it' not the same: no pictures, and it makes my thumbs sore too.

Got lots of things to talk about and will try to write again by the end of the week.

Archos to the Rescue!

2007-03-27T04:23:00.000-07:00

I cannot tell you how much I love my Archos AV500.

Oh alright then, I'll try.

This little beauty can record from TV and DVD onto its 100Gb hard disk, which means you can carry all your favourite movies, photos, and music with you wherever you go. It once again proved invaluable on my recent trip to the U.S., as the seatback video screens on my United flight from Heathrow to San Francisco weren't working, so while my fellow passengers had to go eleven hours with no video entertainment, I had all my favourite movies at my disposal (I watched Memento, followed by Rammstein Live in Nimes from the Volkerball DVD: superb!). Later in the flight I lent the Archos to the guy sitting next to me who was going mad with boredom, and he chuckled along to Nacho Libre for a couple of hours and was very grateful.

On the way home I flew bmi from London to Riyadh, on their old boneshaker of a plane. This one doesn't even have seatback screens, so we are forced to watch movies on 14" tellies mounted in the ceiling, just like a Wallace Arnold coach trip! This wouldn't be so bad if the fluorescent lights in the ceiling didn't reflect off the screens, making them almost unwatchable. Out came the Archos once more: this time it was Blade Runner, The Director's Cut, and Laurel & Hardy. The hours flew (sic) by!

I'm off again tonight, this time to UK for a holiday, and you can rest assured my trusty Archos will be in my carry on.

If you travel regularly and like movies, get one!

Bloody Marvellous Email!

2007-03-20T14:48:00.001-07:00

I've just found out how to post to my blogs via email!

Now I can post from anywhere using my Blackberry -- Hurrah!

Sights of Utah

2007-03-18T15:16:00.000-07:00

Forgot to tell you I was going away on a business trip. I'm in Salt Lake City for Novell's BrainShare conference, so won't be posting anything here until I get back at the end of the week. Meanwhile, head over to Neal of Arabia to see some of the stunning scenery we found on our trip down to south-eastern Utah.

In Memoriam: Philips 37" Plasma R.I.P. :-(

2007-03-14T02:11:00.000-07:00

I finally heard back from the Philips service centre about my Philips plasma TV that they've had in the workshop for THREE MONTHS NOW, and the news is not good.

Apparently not only has the power supply blown (I could've told them this) but the screen is knackered as well, and it would cost SR15,000 (just over £2,000) to repair. It's obviously not worth doing, as a new replacement would cost only a few hundred pounds, so I've told them to send it back to me as-is. I now have a new TV anyway so it looks like we'll just have to give the old one a good send-off when it returns.

Anyone any interesting ideas what to do with a broken 37" plasma TV?

E3

2007-03-10T06:12:00.000-08:00

Got a PSP? Then get Every Extend Extra, or E3 for short.

This is just my kind of game. Bright, colourful, challenging, lots happening on screen, fantastic visuals and thumping techno soundtrack.

If you're old like me you'll remember Asteroids. Well there's a very faint resemblance to that in E3, in that you get groups of enemies drifting across the screen and you maneouvre your craft to avoid crashing into them. But, instead of shooting at them you have to position your craft as close as you can to as large a group as you can, then detonate it!

The craft blows up, taking out all the enemies in its blast radius, and these in turn can also take out more distant enemies when they explode, so what you're trying for is the biggest chain reaction you can get. Once they've all exploded they leave bonus items behind that you have to scoop up.

The action starts quick and gets quicker, and even once you've mastered the gameplay enough to get through all the levels you'll keep coming back for more, as all this explosive carnage is very satisfying :-)
Oh, and the music's good too.

T.V. News

2007-03-07T06:12:00.000-08:00

:-(
STILL no sign of my Philips 37" plasma TV that broke down back in December. Since my last update back in January I've tried calling them four times and have got through twice, and received a satisfactory answer zero times. They have also called me back twice to apologise for the delay and to give me no further information.
The problem is that it's a European model that I brought to Saudi with me, which is why the power supply has blown. It is also the reason the Philips agent is giving for the delay: because they have to order the spare part from Europe. Fair enough but Europe isn't further away than the moon, and it shouldn't take two months to move a spare part from one part of the world to another!

When I do finally get the Philips TV back we're going to sell it, because....

:-)
I've bought a new telly! Karen and I both got fed up with waiting and we know that when we finally do get the Philips back it will have been adapted for the Middle East electricity supply, and hence useless anywhere else so not something we can take with us.

The new one is an LG 42" HD-ready TV with a built-in 80Gb hard disk, and I now have it set up with my 200 Riyal supermarket DVD player and home cinema system, and we now have the best picture and sound we've ever had. AND it's multi-voltage/multi-frequency, so it SHOULD still work wherever we end up next, when we leave Saudi at the end of the year.

Lost (and found) in Translation

2007-03-05T02:28:00.000-08:00

Continuing the Lost In Translation files, or so I thought... I spotted this T-shirt in a supermarket the other day:

Click to enlarge image

A prime candidate for the LIT files I thought: what the heck is "Drunknmunky"? But then I searched the internet and it turns out to be a designer label www.drunknmunky.com

Just when I was starting to doubt my LIT-spotting powers I saw this complimentary wall calendar in the local photo printing shop:

The legend reads, "First Service in the Kingdom, which changed your imagination to reality"

Who dreams these things up???

In Praise of Prado

2007-02-24T10:28:00.000-08:00

We've just returned from a packed, exciting five-day trip to the United Arab Emirates, the full story of which I'll be writing on Neal of Arabia over the next few days.

This was a road -- and off-road -- trip, the kind of trip where your car makes the difference between dream and nightmare, and I'm very glad to say that the trip was a dream; thanks to my wonderful, trusty, smooth, comfortable, roomy, never-say-die Toyota Land Cruiser Prado.

On Monday I drove 1100km from Riyadh to Dubai in ten hours: the Prado cruised all the way.

On Tuesday we drove around Dubai, visiting shopping malls, cinemas and restaurants: the Prado was the ultimate town car.

On Wednesday we went "wadi-bashing": the Prado never missed a beat as I drove it over rough rocks and down the steep inclines of Wadi Asimah.

On Thursday we drove over hundreds of tightly-grouped, steep sand dunes in the desert, loaded with camping equipment: the Prado was as sure-footed as a Mountain Goat. We never got stuck in the sand once (others did), and we never broke a bumper (others did).

On Friday we drove back across the sand dunes, pumped up the tyres, and then drove the 1100km back to Riyadh, again in ten hours: the Prado cruised happily all the way.

This is the best, most reliable, practical car I have ever owned. It also looks good and is a joy to drive. What more could you ask? Well, better fuel consumption I suppose, but then I live in a country where petrol is practically free.

Thank you Toyota.

Intermission

2007-02-18T07:44:00.000-08:00

I'm going away on a trip for few days, so won't be posting anything until Saturday probably. When I get back there'll be plenty to tell I'm sure, but in the meantime why not catch up on older posts you may have missed (see the Blog Archive section at the side of the page), or get to know my other blog Neal of Arabia.

Of course you could just ignore me completely and get on with your life...

Object of Desire

2007-02-17T10:34:00.000-08:00

Maybe we're unusual (no comments please) but my family has a thing about watches. My kids are always saying they "need a new one" and sometimes even prove the point by losing the old one. Personally I love them (watches I mean, not the kids), but I'm torn: do you go for lots of cheap watches so you have a different one for every occasion/day of the week/outfit, or do you splash out on a superbly crafted luxury watch that will be an elegant and trusty accessory for a lifetime? If your name is David Beckham then you can do both at once, but if you're Chris Neal there's a choice to be made (and you can't play football or snog Victoria).

I already have several nice watches, the most recent two of which I love and wear all the time, but I feel I haven't yet achieved my timepiece ambition in life.

Allow me to introduce you to the Omega Seamaster 300M Chronometer:
Truly a thing of beauty, and the watch of choice for James Bond in his last four movies (not that I'm swayed by that of course!) I've been admiring it from afar for some time now, laughing off the price tag as a sum I would never fork out for a watch, but today we went shopping in the Faisaliah Mall in Riyadh and -- Karen's fault for leaving me and Elliot alone too long -- I went into the shop and tried it on. The bracelet was too big, they always are unless you're a seven foot man-mountain (which I'm not), but that didn't matter. It felt good on my wrist, it's reassuringly heavy and when you turn it over you can see the movement inside through a little window.

When I was in photographic retail (a long time ago) we were trained to always put the camera in the customer's hands as soon as possible, because holding an object conveys a sense of ownership, helps you to feel what it will be like when it's yours, and helps to beckon those lovely words, "I'll take it!" So you see, despite the steep price tag I feel I just took a step onto the slippery slope towards acquiring me a Seamaster 300M.

"The name's Neal. Chris Neal." ... has a nice ring to it....

Something Wiki This Way Comes

2007-02-13T23:49:00.000-08:00

This is going to start off sounding geeky. I don't want to scare off my non-nerd readers but, being a stickler for correct explanation, I feel the need to define a wiki before I get onto what I really want to write about: what one pioneer is doing to improve the way you use the internet.

A wiki is a type of website. The name comes either from the acronym "What I Know Is..." or from the Hawaiian word "wiki-wiki", meaning "fast". I have no idea which is correct, and I don't really care. Look it up for yourselves if you really must know.

A regular website is created as a series of pages by an author, known as a Webmaster. These pages are then published on a web server, and from that point on the site is available on the internet as a read-only source of information. If you don't agree with what's there and want it changed you have to try and convince the Webmaster, who is the final authority and would have to make the change. A wiki is different. It's basically a database that you can edit, right from your web browser window. To the casual observer it may look like just another web page, but the big diffference is, if you don't like or don't agree with what is said, you can click the Edit button and change it!

The best-known wiki software is called Medawiki, and the best known example of the usefulness of a wiki is wikipedia : a free on-line encyclopedia containing over two million articles in 250 languages. Regular readers will know that I link to wikipedia entries regularly for further reading (see the Tweel piece as an example). Wikipedia is a great example of how free software can not only make the internet a better place, it can also leave control in the hands of the people who use the site.

Why bring all this up now?

Well I mention it as a prelude to telling you about a recent news story about Wikimedia's founder, Jimmy Wales. Jimmy, like many of us, sees how success can go to a company's head and turn them into corporate giants that can lose touch with the audiences they serve, to the point where their services are moulded and designed more to satisfy corporate profit targets, big-money investors or advertisers than the poor unsuspecting customer. Microsoft is an obvious example, but a less obvious one is Google.
Google is hugely successful. In a few years they have made the internet search market their own and even spawned a new verb: "It's true! Google it if you don't believe me!" Google makes its money from advertising and creates formulas called algorithms to take the words you type in and return the results. The two most important criteria are that those results should come back very quickly (internet users are an impatient bunch) and they should, wherever possible, provide links to the products and services of their advertisers, relevant to the search term. All well and good, but this puts Google in a position to "colour" your results in a way that benefits their clients and, by extension, them. If you are no longer sure of getting objective, unbiased results based purely on a close match with the string you typed, then perhaps it's time to wonder if there's another way.

Enter (or re-enter) Jimmy Wales and the world of wiki. Jimmy already has wikia, which is free wiki hosting for you and me. Anyone can go to wikia and start a wiki of their own and invite others to join, without having to install anything, for free. Now Jimmy has announced a new project called Search Wikia, which aims to give Google a run for its money by creating a search engine that gives users what Google cannot: real, honest, relevant search results that have no motive other than helping you find what you're looking for, all chaperoned by real people and algorithms that are open, transparent, and editable. It's in its infancy but progressing quickly. I wonder if Google are worried yet?

I already have my own two-pronged approach to internet search: if I'm looking for web pages or something here-and-now like concert tickets I'll use Google, but if I want to do some research or just find out more about a particular subject I go straight to wikipedia. I wonder how long it will before all my searches are handled by wikis.

"When I'm Old I Shall Grow Curly"

2007-02-11T20:05:00.000-08:00

He's getting grumpier and more cantankerous as he gets older. He'll opt to disobey the occasional basic rule just because it suddenly makes less sense to him, and he wants another little chance to 'stick it to the man' to get even for a youth of unquestioning obedience.

Who am I talking about? Could be any number of people I guess, including somebody you know. It definitely includes two that I know: myself, and my facial hair.

After years of wet shaving I switched to an electric shaver a few years ago. Any man who's tried both will tell you that nothing can match a wet shave for closeness, but that an electric shaver is good enough (if you take your time with it) and much more convenient and less hassle.

Whether in slow reply to this switch or whether, as suggested above, just because they're getting older and grumpier with me, my whiskers have started behaving badly. They start off by growing out as they've always done, but then they stubbornly launch off in any direction they choose other than straight out, more often than not with the effect that they "lie down" on my skin, reclining in safety where the foil of my shaver can't pick them up and lop off their heads. Even worse, once they're supine their new-found propensity to curl opens up an entirely new opportunity for them: "Hey I know, let's grow back into his face just for a laugh!" They're "Grumpy Old Hairs" alright, and they're getting back at me for all those years of being controlled.

My shave now takes twice as long as it used to because, after the shaver has done its level best, I have to attack these wrinkly rebels with a pair of tweezers, painfully yanking out the ringleaders by the root.

"I'll show you who's in charge!"

Lost in Translation, Episode 3

2007-02-05T01:28:00.000-08:00

Actually I can't remember which episode this is. In fact I didn't even number the earlier ones so must've just now decided to have episode numbers, which must be annoying for you. Sorry. Anyway, the main one -- the one that started it all -- is here.

Some more examples of signs in Riyadh that have clearly suffered in translation from whatever their source language was into English, but which are much better value as a result.

1. A mannequin in Marks & Spencer in the Kingdom Centre wore a kid's T-shirt which bore the legend, "Master of Disas". We all stood there frustratedly going, "...ter! ...ter!" I took a photo of it with my mobile phone, but haven't figured out how to get it from there onto my PC for posting on the blog.

2. Our local supermarket fruit & veg dept is always a good source of merriment, selling produce such as "cheery tomatoes" (nice to think that what you're eating has a positive outlook on its short life), and "potatos baby" ("Yeah baby! Spudadelic!)

3. And our current favourite is a security warning sign at the entrance to the Diplomatic Quarter. As you approach the chicane of concrete blocks and National Guard checkpoint you are reminded to,

"Stop for cheeking".

Me: (winding window down with a cherry smile) "Evening officer"
Guard #1: "Who gave you that haircut? We'll get 'em for you, won't we Fahad?"
Guard #2: (dragging on a cigarette and blowing smoke through his smile) "Yeah"
Me: "Erm, can we come in please?"
Guard #1: "...and your T-shirt's very old-fashioned. It doesn't even have any hip English slogans on it! And that abaya your wife's wearing isn't very glamorous either."

More LITs as they come in.

A174

2007-02-03T00:42:00.000-08:00

Just what is "A174"? What could it signify; some sort of code perhaps? Why don't you put it into Google and see what you get?

Alright then, I'll tell you (partly because that's why I decided to write this post in the first place and partly because I know none of you will bother looking it up anyway). Today marks the start of my participation in Open University Course A174: Start Writing Fiction.

You can probably tell from the fact that I have two blogs (the other one is here, by the way) that I like to write. Writing and I have a bit of a love/hate relationship; sometimes I love it to bits and get a lot of satisfaction and enjoyment out of it, and other times I get really annoyed by my writer's block, or lack of motivation to write anything. The desire to instil some sort of discipline into my writing habits is one of the reasons I have enrolled in the course, and the other is that I would like to try my hand at writing fiction, he said obviously.

It's a twelve-week course which is delivered on-line, so heavy text books have given way to websites and PDFs. There is also an on-line conferencing aspect where you can share your thoughts and participate in activities with the others in your tutor group.

If I write anything that I'm particularly proud of, or at least not too embarrassed by, I'll post it here, but don't expect a masterpiece for the first few weeks -- I'm still only a learner!

(Re)inventing the Tweel

2007-01-27T23:14:00.000-08:00

Have you heard of the Tweel?

This is a revolutionary new type of tyre/wheel combination (hence the name) that does not require inflating with air. The cushioning effect of air in traditional tyres is provided instead by the wheel's design and material, consisting of energy-absorbing polyurethane spokes. In essence, the wheel crumples when it goes over a bump, then regains it's original shape. Read all about it in, as ever, good ol' Wikipedia.

I found out about it from a friend at the Embassy, who sent me some photocopied photos of the tweel being tested on a Audi saloon car. I thought we were being ultra "with-it" in making a new discovery, only to have my illusions shattered when I Googled the word "Tweel", to find that the concept has been around for nearly two years already!

Still a few years off from becoming an option on passenger cars, the Tweel is currently in production and is being tested for use on new types of personal vehicle such as the IBOT stair-climbing wheelchair and on Segway's Concept Centaur four-wheel ATV.

iBot (right) and the Segway Centaur, spinning their Tweels

Segway's Concept Centaur

It is also being considered for potential use on military vehicles, where the option of a puncture-proof tyre is very valuable.

Imagine a world without flat tyres! It could be nearer than you think.

Telly Update :-(

2007-01-21T04:40:00.000-08:00

It's been five weeks since my Philips plasma TV went bust, and a little man came round and drove off with it on the back seat of his car. Since then I've had one phone call to say that it needs a new power supply, and that they have one on order from Europe, but since then, nothing.

(Trying to put photo of broken telly here, but Blogger won't let me.)

Saudi's electricity supply is at 60Hz, with Europe being 50Hz, the affect of which is that any European-model equipment you choose to use here will be prone to burnout sooner than under normal conditions. I'm guessing this is what happened to the TV. If it is, then replacing one European power supply with another is just going to give me some more borrowed time before it goes again (I don't think the set can fit a Middle East power supply; different model 'n' all that), but that's OK with me, as long as the set lasts us til we leave Riyadh.

I called the little man's mobile today to get an update on progress, and on the fourth attempt he picked up, only to fob me off with a, "yes sir I check it. Give me time and I call you back later."

I'm waiting by the phone...

Bloody bmi (again)!

2007-01-14T08:36:00.000-08:00

I think the words, "Terms and conditions apply" must've been invented by bmi (http://www.flybmi.com). I continue to be disappointed by second-class service and so-called Gold Member Benefits that I can't use.

When they opened their Heathrow - Riyadh route at the end of 2005 it was amid much fanfare, even getting headline news coverage on their website for the first few months. The aircraft they used was a new model with a Premium Economy cabin in between Economy and Business Class (which bmi irritatingly and Delboy-ishly call, "The Business"), with a great in-flight entertainment system and all the other services you would expect on a long-haul flight; full meals, bar service etc. However the honeymoon period is now definitely over, and the shiny new plane has been replaced by a shabby old Boeing 767 with no seatback screens, no bar service (in Economy), and an obvious belt-tightening in the quality of the food service.

I have 300,000 bmi miles sitting in the "bank", yet am unable to use them to fly from Riyadh to London because there is never any availability of redemption seats, the website is only capable of showing availability in Economy, and when you call the "dedicated Gold Service helpline" the agents basically read from the website.

When they renewed my Diamond Club Gold membership recently they sent me four upgrade vouchers, each of which entitles me to a one-cabin upgrade: Econ - Premium, Premium - Business. The problem there is that this old tatty plane they've lumbered us with doesn't have a Premium Economy cabin, so I can't even use the vouchers.

Once, just once, I'd like to find an airline that actually delivers the treatment and the benefits they advertise for their most regular customers, without making us tiptoe through a minefield of terms, conditions, and restrictions designed to make their lives easier, not ours.

photo.net

2007-01-06T01:52:00.000-08:00

Getting back into photography with a vengeance now. Hot on the heels of my new flash unit at Christmas I recently bought an excellent new tripod as an early birthday present to myself, and also found a great photographer's website called photo.net.

At this site photographers at any level can sign up and post their own portfolio of pictures. You have to become a subscriber to get unlimited storage and some other features, but it only costs $25 per year so it's pretty good value. The most valuable part though, is that you can ask the other members to critique your pictures, and also provide constructive feedback for theirs.

Click the picture to visit my photo.net portfolio

I consider myself a good technical photographer; I know how to get my shots in focus and I understand how to control exposure etc. What I am working on now is further improving my artistic ability and composition skills, to make my images really stand out.

My portfolio can be found HERE

I'd love to get your feedback on some of the images.

Flash! Bang! Wallop! Wot a Picture!

2007-01-02T00:39:00.000-08:00

Karen bought me the most fabulous present for Christmas. The Nikon SB600 Speedlite is an accessory flash unit for my D70S camera, and it has totally transformed my attitude towards flash photography.

Up until now I've always just used the built-in flash that comes with whatever digital camera I'm using, and it's those results that have put me off flash photography in the past. When you're using an artificial light source that's flashing directly in the face of your subject, you too often get either bleached out faces, or red eyes, or both.

Direct, on-camera flash

The SB600 gets around these problems by having a head that can tilt and swivel, thus enabling you to "bounce" the light from the flash off other surfaces such as ceilings and walls. Of course you have to give some thought to the colour of the reflecting surface and best results are obtained from white or off-white surfaces, but this bouncing technique has some very nice effects. First, the light from the flash is diffused by the reflection, so it's not as harsh as direct flash. Second, because it has been bounced at an angle you can get some very nice side and top-lighting effects on your subject, which give your photos some real depth.

Flash "bounced" off the (white) ceiling

I've known about bounce flash for many years, even before the digital revolution, but had never owned one or played around with one seriously before now. The SB600 is perfectly matched to my camera too. When you switch the camera on and off the flash switches on and off in sync, the flash head zooms in and out in step with my zooming the lens, and best of all there is a remote wireless mode in which you can stand the flash unit anywhere you like -- even behind the subject -- and the little built-in flash acts as a master unit, setting the main flash off wirelessly.

SB600 Flash mounted on a tripod below and to the left, aimed directly at subject. The side lighting is preferable to front-on, but the direct flash is too harsh.

A much softer effect is achieved by "bouncing" the off-camera flash off a nearby (off-white) wall.

I used the new flash and played with bouncing the light during our Christmas visit to the UK, and I've got some much better examples of what is possible on my other blog: Neal of Arabia.

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-20T21:05:00.000-08:00

Have a great time this festive season.

We're going back to the UK for a week, to spend Christmas with the family and to visit some friends. I don't expect to be blogging while we're away (unless our rented place has broadband), so don't be surprised if the blog stays quiet until we get back on the 29th.

Voelkerball

2006-12-17T00:24:00.000-08:00

Looking for that late stocking-filler for the rocker in your family?

German Metal band Rammstein are one of my favourite groups at the moment. Their head-banging riffs and gruff German vocals can be menacing and dark, but then a couple of tracks later they reveal a sense of humour, and even show their sensitive side occasionally. Don't let the fact that they sing in German put you off; you don't need to understand the lyrics to enjoy the music. In fact, Till Lindemann's gruff utterances almost act as another percussion instrument. But for those who insist on understanding what a song is about there are plenty of sites on the web that provide translations.

Rammstein's latest release is Voelkerball: a DVD/CD package recorded on their last tour. The centrepiece of the DVD is an awesome concert, recorded last year at Les Arenes de Nimes in France. The open-air, coliseum-like amphitheatre provides a gladitorial atmosphere as Rammstein perform for thousands of screaming fans.

For the Rammstein newbie this DVD is the perfect introduction. Not only does it serve as a "greatest hits" from their five studio albums, but they're also a great live band; they have to be seen as well as heard to be truly appreciated. If you like heavy rock and want to see thousands of ecstatic fans having a great time, and to hear some majestic, pounding, thumping good rock music played by a band of musicians who look like they've just walked off a Mad Max film set, all accompanied by a great lightshow and pyrotechnic display (flamethrowers included), then buy this DVD, turn the lights down and the volume up, and enjoy.

Feuer Frei: BANG! BANG!

I guarantee you won't be disappointed.

Broken Telly

2006-12-16T02:50:00.000-08:00

:-(

My plasma TV won't switch on any more! The other morning I pressed the power button, but instead of coming on in the normal way there was a pause of a few seconds, and the then a final-sounding click, then the power light started flashing red, and flashing red lights are never good are they?

After several enquiries around town I managed to locate a Philips service agent in Riyadh, and they duly sent an engineer round the next day. When he got here however, he was surprised to find it was a plasma TV and not an ordinary one (despite the fact that I had gone to great lengths to explain to the call centre that it WAS a plasma one.

He can't fix plasmas on the spot so he's had to take it away to get an estimate (it's out of warranty too). This was about a week ago now and I've still not heard anything back from him. In the meantime we've had to go out and buy a smaller set to use temporarily.

Good job that a) there's no such thing as Christmas TV programming here, and b) we're going back to UK for Christmas anyway!

Life, the Universe, and Everything

2006-12-11T20:42:00.000-08:00

As featured in Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, it's The Ultimate Question. The ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything. The characters Vroomfondel and Majikthise couldn't articulate it any better than that to Deep Thought: the giant supercomputer they had built with the sole purpose of answering this, the most important question one can ask. Of course you'll know already that Deep Thought's answer to the ultimate question -- after six million years' processing -- was "42", the only problem with that answer being that it could only be of value if one knew precisely WHAT the ultimate question was. But of course, they didn't and so were none the wiser.

The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy

It's a tough question to fit into a single question isn't it? The reason I mention it is that I have been contemplating it recently and taking my sixth and fourth attempts respectively to get to the ends of two famous books on the subject by Stephen Hawking: A Brief History of Time and The Universe in a Nutshell. In both books Hawking attempts to explain what we know about the universe and passionately describes the work going on in Physics right now to fill in the remaining blanks.

Stephen Hawking

Hawking uses several smaller questions to make up The Big One: How did the Universe begin? How/when will it end? Is time infinite or could that too have a beginning and an end? What would happen after the end of time? What happened before time began? etc, etc. Then there's the $64,000 question: If we get to a point where we can answer all of the above scientifically, what role then for a Creator?

The Universe

I've always had an interest in Physics and have been annoyed that, despite having owned both these books for years, I had not managed to get to the end of either of them. They start off accessibly enough for anyone who studied Physics at school, with Newton's laws of motion and Einstein's theories of relativity. I can get my head around gravity, the solar system, elliptical orbits, I can even accept huge-scale concepts such as the speed of light and black holes. But from there on things start to skitter down a very slippery slope of incomprehension, starting with there not being space, and time, but a single continuum in four dimensions called spacetime, and that spacetime is curved and not flat, and that if the universe is even now continuing to expand (as has been proven) like the debris of an explosion, then there must have been an event long ago -- the explosion itself -- where all the matter in the universe was compressed into an object of zero size yet infinite mass and infinite density. This concept is known as a singularity and we call the explosion that marked the origin of the Universe "The Big Bang". From there the slope steepens as Hawking turns his attention to the branch of Physics that everyone is depending on to complete the jigsaw: Quantum Mechanics. I won't go into detail (I can't!) but Quantum Mechanics has to do with the very, very small, dealing with subatomic particles and moving on from there to matter and antimatter (ANTIMATTER!), particles existing in pairs and annihilating each other when they meet up.

Well I am proud (or should that be relieved?) to say that I have finally managed to finish A Brief History Of Time, and am close to finishing The Universe In A Nutshell, having promised myself to plough on through both whether I could grasp all the concepts or not. This is actually a worthwhile thing to do, because there are clear, lucid and important points in among the quarks, photons and gravitons, and it's also the only way of getting through them unless you yourself are a Quantum Physicist. I'm sure there must be many many people who are not professional scientists but who nevertheless have a burning curiosity to understand how we got here on Planet Earth, and to hear a rational explanation for the existence of everything we see around us, on the earth and in the sky. The problem with these books is that they are so technical as to put off all but the most determined truthseeker, despite being marketed as having been written for the layperson. What we need is, "Life the Universe and Everything for Dummies": anyone seen that on the bookshelves? Maybe I'll write it one day.

Maneki Neko

2006-11-28T05:47:00.000-08:00

Isn't the internet a wonderful thing? I picked up this gizmo in Bangkok and all I could find out there is that it is a Japanese good luck mascot known as a "Treasure-beckoning Cat". Kind of funny that a Japanese mascot is made in China and sold in Thailand. A later Google search told me that the cat is called Maneki Neko, and that the left arm waving is to attract customers, and if you get one with the right arm waving then that's the one that brings good luck to its owner. Needless to say I got the customer-attracting one and not the treasure-beckoning one!

Check out the video anyway. One AA battery will keep the arm a-beckoning for weeks!

Click To Play

Get one of these cute kitties and they will tirelessly beckon good luck your way (as long as the battery lasts anyway)

Here's a photo of the instructions on the back of the box: a prime candidate for the "Lost in Translation" files:

Other cool Maneki Neko sites on the web:

Maneiknekoclub
Wikipedia entry
Sushi Cat
Actioncat.com

Miaow!

BJP

2006-11-27T03:19:00.000-08:00

:-) I'm published!
A few weeks ago I submitted six images to the British Journal of Photography's website, for the Reader's Gallery, and the other day I received an email telling me they'd been accepted for publication! I'm chuffed to bits at having some of my photos published on their site. Here are the links:

Atomium
Barcelona sculpture
Wedding Chapel
Fishing Boats
Long-tailed boats
Fasting Buddha

:-( Close, but no cigar
I also entered the BJP Anual Photographic Award competition at around the same time. You had to submit a body of 20 - 30 photographs that could be considered a single body of work; in other words there had to be some kind of linking theme. The prize was a cash award plus having your work displayed in an exhibition in London., My photos were good but I took them from my existing collection rather than shooting something specially for the competition, so I didn't really throw my all into it, whereas there must have been hundreds of entries from professionals too. Needless to say, I didn't win.

Blog Holiday

2006-11-27T00:23:00.000-08:00

:-) A welcome break
Just got back from my week in Dubai to attend the GITEX trade show, and an enforced few days off from blogging. I really enjoy blogging (once I decide what the heck to write about) so was dubious about how it would feel to leave it alone for a few days. It turned out to be a very busy week and I didn't get time to think about it much, but I have to admit it was nice to have a few days off from the pressure -- self-imposed I know, but pressure nonetheless -- to write something witty, wise, or both every day.
So now I'm back with my blogging batteries recharged, and with a bunch of topics queueing up. Right, back to my typing finger exercises...

:-( Borrowed time
Of course, the risk of not blogging for a few days is that my readers will get fed up of waiting for something new and will go surfing off somewhere else for their entertainment. If truth be told I don't know exactly how many readers I have; it could be hundreds or it could be just a handful of die-hards, but whatever the number I feel a sense of duty to keep posting new stuff to keep you interested. Probably just as well I was too busy to think about it the last week, because if I had I would probably have started fretting about my dwindling audience.
Well I'm back now, and I'll try not to leave you alone for so long again. Please don't leave me! (sob)

GITEX

2006-11-17T00:47:00.000-08:00

Off to GITEX later today for a week. Back near the end of the month

Happy Birthday / Sad Launch

2006-11-14T09:18:00.000-08:00

:-) Karen's 40th
I'd like to wish my lovely wife Karen a very happy 40th birthday today. She opened all her presents a couple of hours ago and is thrilled with them all, including three pieces of Tiffany jewellery and a new mobile phone. Now relaxing in front of the TV after a dinner of Roast Beef and Yorkshire Pudding, so you'll excuse me if I nod off in a mo...zzzzz

:-( Microsoft's attempt to muscle in on digital music
Today also marks the launch of the Zune digital media player by Microsoft; a device that many people in the consumer electronics press are dubbing the "iPod killer".

Microsoft and I do not get on, as most people who know me will tell you; I do like to rant on about their monopolistic practices, and reliance on advertising dollars and marketing muscle to shore up a mediocre product. I am concerned that, with Zune, Microsoft may be in a position to hurt Apple's position as leader in the digital music player market, and I do not think they deserve to succeed in that endeavour. Now, the Zune may well be a great new product; I haven't bothered to research it well enough to judge, but that's not the point. If any company other than Microsoft brought out a music player to rival the iPod I would be all in favour of letting market forces do their job, and may the best man win. When the rival is Microsoft, however, the game changes. All of a sudden, the new contender does not necessarily have to win on features, design aesthetic or usability; just because it's a Microsoft product it gets a leg-up on the ladder to success, much like the spoilt brat kids of well-to-do families have an automatic advantage over "the rest of us".
You may be thinking of buying a digital music player for Christmas; either for yourself or for a loved one. All I would ask is that you do not buy Zune JUST because it is from Microsoft. That is how they've got to the undeserved position they hold in the market today. Instead, compare products feature by feature, compare design, compare usability and overall user experience. If the Zune still wins after all that, then I have lost my argument and would stand aside while you go and buy one, but I don't think I'll lose. Apple's iPods have iconic status in the design world, they are reliable, good value for money, and the iTunes Music Store provides a fair, customer-friendly way to buy music on-line.

Apple deserves top slot in this market -- Microsoft does not.

Travels / Knackered

2006-11-09T01:43:00.000-08:00

Read on for my sort-of valid reasons why I haven't been blogging lately

:-) Off again
Went to a birthday party last night and didn't get home 'til 3am, woke up this morning feeling a bit fragile, AND we're flying to Bangkok this afternoon, so I'm tapping this out while the family is whizzing around me packing and tidying up, and glaring angrily at me for not pulling my weight.
I may post something from Bangkok or may wait 'til we get back Monday.

:-( Tired
I've been feeling very drowsy the last few days; almost like jet-lag only it's all lag and no jet! It's probably down to a mixture of partying and bad diet, so totally self-inflicted, so I'm not looking for sympathy (although I'll gratefully accept any that might be available!), just really trying to explain the recent lack of blogging.

I need a holiday... Oh, I'm about to have one!

Head full of nothing

2006-11-07T09:28:00.000-08:00

Sorry everyone, my blogging head seems to have deserted me the last couple of days. It could be a side-effect of my torn calf muscle (which is feeling much better, thanks for asking), or it could be pressure of work, or it could be just plain laziness: I have been feeling pretty tired lately.
Anyhow, I've got lots of things I want to write about but right now I can't summon up the time and/or the energy. There are important things I want to write about at length, but they're in the "blocked" category right now, and there are also day-to-day happenings that I could write about quite quickly, but I don't think they'd be very interesting or entertaining, hence this placeholder/apology.

Will definitely write something of substance tomorrow, because on Thursday we're off on our "free" trip to Thailand, so tomorrow's post will the the last for a few days.

Retail Joy / Pet Problem

2006-11-05T22:50:00.000-08:00

:-) "Can I help you?"
Something rare and lovely happened to me yesterday: I had a pleasant exchange with a Saudi shop assistant. This happens so rarely I feel like celebrating. Normally the Saudi men (women are not allowed to work in Saudi, with only very few exceptions) standing behind the counter have a look of miffed resignation on their faces, like they've been forced to get jobs by their Dads or something (The same is not true of immigrant shop staff by the way; Indian, Filipino or Pakistani staff are generally more happy to be there).
Today however, I visited a music shop to buy a set of guitar strings for Elliot, and I met a very nice young man who greeted me with a smile, spoke very good English, and most importatnly actually knew something about what he was selling. The early part of my career was in retail so I'm a bit of a stickler for customer service. This shop will definitely be getting more of my business.

:-( Naughty Bunny
Dougie the rabbit bit Abigail this morning. I'm sure he was just playing; he gets very excited when he sees her each morning, because he knows it means he's about to get fed. She wasn't badly hurt, but he's in our bad books at the moment nevertheless.

Now... where's that recipe for Rabbit Stew & Dumplings?

"White House My Arse!" / No Charge

2006-11-04T08:11:00.000-08:00

:-) Evening in
Got a quiet evening in planned tonight. Nothing to do but sit in my comfy IKEA chair and watch some quality TV with my feet up. If truth be told I spend a lot evenings in my comfy IKEA chair watching TV with my feet up, but tonight I've got an excuse because of my torn calf muscle.
Because the TV's such rubbish here we spend most of our viewing time on DVDs, and fortunately the Embassy DVD library is well stocked with box sets of popular series. A situation like this is great for catching up on those TV series you didn't have time to get into when they first came on, or to enjoy again those classics that you loved first time around.

At the moment for example we're splitting time between The Royle Family box set (all three series): a great comedy series that we're watching again (and that I'm copying onto my Archos PVR), and The West Wing: a superb political drama series about the President's senior staff in the West Wing of The White House. We missed this completely when it was first aired on British TV, so since we've been here we've been going through it right from the beginning of series one. We're now just a few episodes into series five. The writing and performances are superb -- but then, you've probably all known that for a long time.

:-( Car Trouble
Car wouldn't start this afternoon. It turned out to be simply a battery discharge (Elliot hadn't closed the door properly yesterday so the interior lights had been on for 24hrs). Quickly and easily solved by a friendly driver with jump leads, but nevertheless it made me feel uneasy. It's the first bit of car trouble I've had in years, and while today it happened in our own driveway I couldn't help worrying what about what would happen if we had a similar problem while on one of our desert trips: no AA here!

But then, that's why we always go in convoy.

Spoke to the Embassy's mechanic today also for advice on getting the car serviced, and he says the oil and oil filter should be changed every 5,000km! Can't believe that.

Oh Behave! / Oh My Leg!

2006-11-03T12:32:00.000-08:00

:-) Wadi Club Ball
Went to the first ball of the season last night, on an Austin Powers theme. Everyone had a great time and we didn't get home til 4am. Full story and pictures on Neal Of Arabia tomorrow.

:-( Another Popped Calf
Remember what I did to my calf muscle back before Summer? If you recall from what happened last time, I was playing 5-a-side football at a Family Fun Day (barefoot) when my calf muscle suddenly went POP!, and it took a month to recover. Well, my other leg (the right this time) did the same thing this afternoon. The swim meet had just finished at the school, and I was walking across the playground to the toilets before heading home and as I stepped up a concrete slope... POP! again.
Sitting here once again alternating between a compression bandage and ice packs: things are not looking good for our trip to Thailand next weekend...

Winter clothing in hot weather / Mad bloke

2006-11-02T04:47:00.000-08:00

:-) Buying coats for winter
We all went out shopping this morning to buy winter coats, for our upcoming Christmas visit to the UK. Some people would be jealous of the almost continuous hot and sunny weather we have here in Saudi, but the English climate is actually one of the things I really miss. I always looked forward to winter more than summer, and love wearing warm and wolly winter clothes, so it was great to go out this morning to try on something other than T-shirts for a change. The air-conditioning in the shops -- and later at home -- made it comfortable to put them on, although at 35 degrees centigrade outside, in the house is the only place we can wear them at the moment.
What's funny is that the stores here, including UK chains like Debenhams and Marks & Spencer, stock a full range of winter clothes: coats, hats, scarves, gloves and boots. Sure, some expats like us buy them for our trips to colder climes, but the main reason they're there is for the Saudis, who start to feel the chill in Riyadh as the temperature falls below 25 centrigrade (how the heck to I type that little "degrees" circle on the keyboard? I keep having to write 'degrees centigrade' longhand!).

Looking forward to going back to the UK for Christmas!

:-( Deathwish
We were driving down Olaya St. this morning, when Karen noticed something frightening as we rolled to a halt at a junction. Pulling up alongside us was a Saudi family in a large white American saloon (or sedan) car; the mother in the passenger seat and three small children in the back seat with not a single seatbelt between them. But even worse, the father in the driving seat had another child -- a three-year-old girl -- on his lap, and she was steering the car!!! We gave them a wide berth as we followed them into the shopping mall's underground car park.

I hope Allah saw fit to get them all home safely...

Start of the Festive Season

2006-11-01T02:00:00.000-08:00

One of the benefits/sacrifices (depending on your viewpoint) of living in Saudi Arabia is that traditional Western festivals are not observed (well, not officially anyway).

:-) Avoiding Halloween
I hate Halloween, always have done. Actually that's not true; I have a dim recollection of quite liking it as a child, and have fond memories of Halloween parties round at a friend's house where we did all the old-fashioned stuff like bobbing for apples and using tomato ketchup for blood. Since the onset of adulthood though I'd rather switch off all the lights, lock my doors and windows and hide under the bed than take part.

"Ha! Scared of monsters are you Chris?" I hear you scoff.

Well in a way, yes, although not the kind you're probably thinking of. It's the dreaded Trick or Treat isn't it? Well... isn't it? ...or is it just me? My American readers will probably switch off at this point, assuming I'm going off on some mad British rant. After all, they're famous for celebrating Halloween, and Trick or Treat in the U.S. has that "E.T. movie" image associated with it: young children being led up and down the street by Mommy, in costumes they spent months designing, knocking on neighbours' doors to be received by smiling, supportive adults who hand out home-made goodies and reminisce about "their day". What could be wrong with such a wholesome scene?

Well it ain't like that in the UK buddy. My recent Halloween memories are of local gangs of spotty teenagers terrorising the neighbourhood, their costume no more inventive than the Adidas "hoodie" they go shoplifting in, banging on the door to "Trick or Treat" you. The Treat of choice these days being hard cash, and the Trick you get for non-compliance? Eggs thrown at your front windows -- if you're lucky! They should try knocking on Michael Myers' front door; John Carpenter's "Halloween" is one of the best horror films of all time and the one positive thing I can recommend about the festival.

Yesterday was the best Halloween of my adult life: it was just an ordinary day.

:-( Missing Guy Fawkes' night
Hot on the heels of Halloween comes Bonfire Night, on November 5th. This time my fond childhood memories of Bonfire Night parties didn't fade as I grew up. Whether a private get-together in someone's back garden to let off a modest box of shop-bought fireworks, or an organised display with hundreds of paying spectators, sometimes even set to music (the fireworks, not the spectators), Bonfire Night memories are full of the heat from the flames, choosing where to stand so that the wind doesn't blow all the smoke your way (which never works), jacket potatoes, the smell of gunpowder, rain, gloves, sparklers, hot toddies, torches (flashlights), woolly hats & scarves, wellington boots, mud, and the "Ooh"s and "Aah"s of the crowd as rockets explode in the sky.

It looks like we're going to miss this too this year, although I have heard the odd rumour about an underground party being organised; ...not literally... that would be silly (and quite dangerous). You know what I mean.

Fighting Fit / Shopping Failure

2006-10-31T05:21:00.000-08:00

:-) Recovery
It's amazing how quickly people adapt to a change in environment or circumstances. When I injured my leg back in the Spring it was only a few hours before the limping gait I had to use to move around started to feel natural, like my "normal walk". In fact, the rather Long-John-Silver-like way in which I had to climb stairs during that time persisted, even after I regained full use of my calf muscles. Similarly the cold I've had for the last few days has brought shivers, aches and congestion, resulting in a weakened state that after a while felt like the "normal" me.
How great it feels then, when the cold symptoms start to disappear, your old strength returns, and you experience what seems to be abundant energy and strength because of the contrast between what you are now able to do and the "normality" of being ill.

I feel better today!

:-( Bloody Riyadh shopping again!
Ramadan's over now, so shopping should be back to normal, right? Right, except in Riyadh there's no such thing as normal.
I went out this morning to buy Karen's birthday present (I can't tell you what, or which shop I planned to visit because it would give the game away). I left deliberately just after 10am, knowing that very few shops here ever bother opening before then, and also mindful that they would be closing at around 11.45 for prayer time, then staying closed until around 4-4.30 pm. I drove about 5 miles into the city, queued up to get into the underground car park, spent 20 minutes searching for a parking space, only to find that the shop I wanted was closed anyway! Aaaarrgghh!!!!
Now I'm going to have to either find a different outlet or go out present-shopping at 10 o'clock at night.

Cuppa / Bad Timing

2006-10-30T05:55:00.000-08:00

:-) Rosie Lea
When I'm feeling under the weather nothing perks me up like a nice hot cup of tea. My cold is starting to get better but I'm still ill and thus thoroughly deserving of all the sympathy I can get. When you're feeling off colour your outlook on life changes. Factors affecting your immediate personal environment become more important (am I warm enough? Too hot? How do I catch up on the sleep I missed last night and still get my work done?), so in this context the humble cup of tea takes on a whole new significance and becomes something I rely on to get me out of bed in the morning -- literally. I can feel the hot liquid lubricating, soothing and invigorating my insides with each swallow: it gives me the energy to face the day.

I wish I had a bigger mug!

:-( Clocks go back... or do they?
You will all know that everyone put their clocks back by an hour last Saturday night/Sunday morning, to return to normal after six months of daylight savings time. Well, not everyone! Saudi Arabia (and most other countries in this region) do not oberve daylight savings, so the clocks never change here, forward or back. This means that Saudi is always GMT+3, hence three hours ahead of UK in winter and two hours ahead of UK in summer.
This causes havoc with scheduling meetings and conference calls, because the computerised system we use tries to "correct" appointments to account for the change from daylight savings, with the result that everyone except me now has our regular weekly meetings shown in their calendars as an hour earlier than they should be. Now I've got to spend an hour tomorrow re-scheduling all our team calls to the correct times.

A Book at (Sick)bed-time

2006-10-29T11:22:00.000-08:00

:-) Eats, Shoots & Leaves
This little book about punctuation has been around for a few years, but somehow I'd never gotten around to buying it until this week, when I found it in the airport bookshop in Abu Dhabi.

The author, Lynne Truss, is a self-confessed "stickler" for punctuation, and she proceeds to give a potted history of each punctuation mark, along with rules for its proper usage. It's not as dull as I'm making it sound, particularly if you -- like me -- are a bit of a stickler yourself who cringes at the increasingly garish uses of the Greengrocer's Apostrophe (e.g. Apple's, Banana's & Pear's).

I fancy myself as a reasonable grammarian and punctuationist (is there such a word?), but I learned a lot of new things from this book, as well as receiving a welcome refresher course from what I learned at school, back in the days when kids were taught grammar and punctuation.

I have great respect for anyone who can take such a dry subject and make an entertaining little read out of it. If you haven't got this book and you care about punctuation, you know what to do...

:-( Still Ill
Cough, wheeze, sniff, sneeze.

You're lucky I can manage even these few words!

Techno-bargain / Sniffles

2006-10-28T11:20:00.000-07:00

:-) ATC-D650
I owe my new cheap Taiwanese DVD player an apology. All of the so-called teething troubles I described earlier turned out to have been user (me) error. I think I must be getting old; I never used to make user errors. Anyway my slim, white "I-play-anything" DVD player is going from strength to strength. I can play discs of any region encoding, it's much faster and more responsive than my old one, I can toggle DVD subtitles on and off without interrupting playback, and I can display a slideshow of my photos on the TV just by sliding my SD memory card into the slot on the front. I've even got Dolby Digital 5:1 sound working.

I love it when a plan comes together! ...who can tell me where that saying comes from? (hint: it's from a '70s TV show).

:-( I'm dying!
I brought some kind of "lurgy" back with me from Abu Dhabi. It's either a cold or a fever, not sure which, because I can't remember which way the rhyme goes. Is it, "Starve a fever, feed a cold.", or, "Feed a fever, starve a cold."? Whichever way around it is, I've got the one you feed. I never seem to get the one you're supposed to starve...
Feeling down in the dumps. Got sniffles, sneezing, coughing, shivers. I think a medicinal whisky and an early night are on the cards.

Gulf Air

2006-10-27T08:51:00.000-07:00

:-) Gulf Air Lounge, Abu Dhabi International Airport
Just got back from a three-day Eid trip to Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates. On the way home, had occasion to spend a goodly amount of time (see below) in the Business Class lounge at the airport. The Gulf Air Lounge is quite small but very well formed, with comfortable leather sofas spread about in informal clumps, a full bar (Yay!), hot and cold food on tap, its very own Duty Free Shop, a Business Centre with free (and fast) internet access, and - to top it all off - waiter service. We spent a very enjoyable afternoon ligging here: reading, surfing, sleeping, eating, drinking.

:-( Flight delays
The journeys to and from Abu Dhabi were both fraught with delays and missed connections. I have a stress scale for air travel that goes like this:-
Alone on business - Low
With family, direct flight and no hitches - Medium
With family, first flight delayed and risk of missing connection - Very High

In over eight years of frequent air travel, both business and leisure, I have become used to things going smoothly and to schedule. I regularly read/hear of people who suffer massive inconvenience due to delays caused by industrial action or increased security measures, and feel fortunate never to have been majorly affected by them.

This erstwhile smooth sailing (well, flying) has left me with high expectations of airline efficiency, but that came toppling annoyingly down when my travels took me to and around the Middle East. Our journey to Abu Dhabi took five hours longer than it should have, and the journey back took twelve hours when it should have taken six.

I'm starting to really hate airlines.

Full story on Neal Of Arabia

Eid Mubarak! / My Poor Feet!

2006-10-23T03:43:00.000-07:00

:-) Holiday
Ramadan comes to an end and today we are now in the festival of Eid al-Fitr. Eid is the Islamic equivalent of Christmas in the Christian world, in that it is the most important festival in the religious calendar, so, "Eid Mubarak!" to a Muslim is like saying, "Merry Christmas" to a Christian. (the two festivals are completely different so it's not the best analogy, but you get my drift I'm sure).

The Embassy is closed for three days so we're taking the opportunity to go on a short break to a new Middle East destination: Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates.

I will try to post here while I'm away but can't promise. In any case you can expect normal service to resume on Friday, when I'll tell you about the Abu Dhabi trip and post some pictures on Neal Of Arabia.

:-( New Shoe Blues
Bought a pair of Converse All-Stars shoes the other day - in a pathetic attempt to appear hip and with-it. They felt great when I tried them on in the shop, but since then have been rubbing my heels raw. Oh well, back to Hush Puppies...

Dad 'n' Lad

2006-10-22T12:35:00.000-07:00

:-) Quality Time with Elliot
Spent a nice hour with Elliot this afternoon. I needed a good photo of me rollerblading (I'll tell you why one day), so Elliot came out to the street with me: me with my skating gear and he with my digital SLR camera. I've been teaching him some of the rudiments of photography: aperture, shutter speed, depth of field and what affects it, focal length etc. for a while now, and he practised by taking photos of me as I skated up and down. He has one of my hand-me-down digital cameras to use as his own, but he'll jump at any opportunity to get his hands on my Nikon. He has a real eye for photography and it wouldn't surprise me if he does it professionally one day.
Here are a couple from this afternoon...

Made in Taiwan

2006-10-21T10:30:00.000-07:00

:-) New Toy
Remember I've been having problems with my DVD player? Discs either skipping or not playing at all - was really winding me up. Not likely to be able to get it repaired here either.

I was wondering what to do about it while walking round the supermarket today, when we found one of those slim, cut-price DVD players: DVD, VCD, MP3, CD-R - you name any kind of disc and this baby'll play it. Plus it's multi-region AND it's got slots on the front for USB devices and memory cards, so you can take photos on your digital camera and play them back right through the TV. And all this for 179SR (about £28). Can't go wrong! Got home and hooked it up to the amplifier as easy as pie, so now I've got two DVD players hooked up, just in case my main one decides to play up again.

:-( Quality Workmanship?
It's now been installed for a few hours and I'm starting to have my doubts. Every DVD I load plays with subtitles whether I ask for them or not, and the sound keeps "hicupping". And the remote control only seems to work if you hold it about six inches away from the front panel - great!

At a Loose End

2006-10-20T13:03:00.000-07:00

:-) Nothing to do, and all day to do it in
Our weekends here are much busier socially than they were when we were in the UK, generally. There's hardly ever a weekend without a "do" of some sort - whether a party or a swim meet or a desert trip. This weekend however, was one of those rare occasions where we had absolutely nothing planned. Today (Friday) was just great: Slept in, went to the pool, had a late lunch, did some email, did some photo printing, had dinner with the family, watched a movie, read some of my book, and here I am blogging about it just before going to bed to read some more. Sometimes it's nice not to have an agenda.

:-( Nothing else to do
Of course, if we were anywhere else in the world we'd have been able to go shopping, or to the movies, or to a concert or a play!
I'm not really pissed off, and we have had a lovely lazy day, but it doesn't feel right if I don't have the occasional moan!

Retail Therapy

2006-10-19T12:48:00.000-07:00

:-) New stuff
Sitting here blogging in my new pyjamas with a glass of single malt whisky at my side.

Bought the PJ's, a shirt, two ties and a pair of shoes today (shopping is Riyadh's favourite pasttime in case you didn't already know), and unusually everything fits and nothing's faulty. You can't try clothes on here so returning stuff takes up almost half our shopping time.

:-( flippin' Ramadan shopping hours again
...having to plan your shopping trips with military precision. We arrived at mall #1 at 1.30, giving us an hour and a half's shopping before prayer time at 3pm. During prayers, drive to mall #2 to be standing outside Marks & Spencer when the shutters raise again at 3.30. Get your purchases quickly, because the shops close again at 4pm, not re-opening until 8.30.

Ramadan is almost over; should finish on Sunday or Monday, followed by Eid Al Fitr - a three-day holiday. After that the shops get back to their normal four-times daily closures.

Frequent Flyer

2006-10-18T23:57:00.000-07:00

Frequent Flyer programs - and all loyalty cards for that matter - have but one objective: to stop you taking your business elsewhere. That's fair enough I guess - free enterprise and all that - as long as the benefits are shared equally between you, the punter, and them, the airline/shop/hotel/car rental company. I belong to (too) many such programs and can promise you, there is more in it for them.

:-) At the Airport
Two of the benefits provided by my bmi Diamond Club gold card alone make it worth persevering with them and putting up with all the other crap: priority check-in and lounge access.
My membership entitles me to use First/Business Class check-in counters when flying with any Star Alliance airline, even when I only have an economy ticket (which is most of the time). The thing I hate most about air travel is queueing so this is a real boon. I can't remember the last time I had to queue for more than five minutes to check in for a flight (Riyadh airport excepted but that's a whole 'nother story). It makes me feel special to strut past snaking lines of the great unwashed and up the eight feet of red carpet to the Business Class check in desk. Often I've got my boarding card and am heading for passport control before the guy who entered the terminal before me has found his place at the back of a long queue. It's worth its weight in gold.

Airline lounges are another little luxury that I can't imagine doing without. A relatively quiet, peaceful sanctuary from the pushing, jostling, chilren wailing, sweating throng that is the main body of the terminal. Once in the lounge you can pour yourself a drink, sit back, and relax in peace and quiet while waiting for your flight to be called. A full range of complimentary refreshments is usually on offer, including sandwiches, croissants, biscuits, crisps, nuts and fruit, plus hot and cold drinks including a fully-stocked bar (Riyadh airport excepted, but that's a whole 'nother story). Free newspapers and magazines are available and most also have wireless internet access (although for a fee - when are they going to wake up and provide it for free?).

Of course this benefit does not extend to my family, so - gold card or not - when we're going on holiday we have to slum it. I have blagged our way in to the lounge en famille a couple of times but I don't see why I should have to. Come on bmi - here's another tip from a loyal customer: provide all gold card holders with two family lounge passes per year; you'd be very popular!

As with priority check-in I have mixed feelings about the class culture that the lounge implies. I don't think I'm better than other people but I like to be treated better than other people. It goes to feeling special, valued, wanted, and I'm not alone. In fact I'd be willing to bet that anyone in that seething mass I can see out of the window below me would jump at the chance to swap places. The airlines know this of course, and make every effort to vaunt their top services as something all their passengers can aspire to, but which - in the real world - few can afford.

I guess the thing to remember when you feel about to be swept off your feet on a wave of adulation is that it's not you they love, it's your money.

:-( Terms & Conditions Apply
Ironically the frequent flyer benefit that the airlines tout most is actually the least valuable: air miles. They reel you in with promises of free flights around the world, and it's true; you do indeed earn air miles every time you fly with them, purchase items using their credit card etc. The catch comes when you try to actually redeem them for free flights.
This is what I alluded to at the start of this post. Air miles help the airline out more than you, because they decide which flights are eligible and it's always those flights that they cannot fill any other way. We want to fly back to the UK for Christmas, and bmi fly direct to Heathrow from Riyadh, and I've got over 200,000 bmi miles in the bank - perfect, I can even afford for us all to fly Business Class! I go to their website to book the flights, only to find that all flights in December are "blacked out" for miles redemption. In other words the airline is saying to me, "Get lost. We can fill these flights with paying passengers so we don't need your miles. Come back when we're desperate to fill seats, then maybe we'll let you in."

See? It's for their convenience. You can fly for free but only when it suits them. To add insult to injury they even hike their prices at busy times like December, so not only can I not redeem my miles but if I want to fly with them at all I have to pay a premium - forget it bmi!

Airlines should treat their best customers like,... well... their best customers, and let them have unrestricted access to redemption flights. The airline that does this would truly have an edge over the competition, but unfortunately I think they prefer to collude in deciding "standard practice" precisely to prevent this happening.

So, we are coming back to UK for Christmas, but with Gulf Air via Bahrain. I'd rather take an indirect route that doesn't earn me any miles than play bmi's game.
I think I'll save my air miles for that weekend break in Southampton next February I've been promising myself. As long as it's OK with bmi, that is.

An Apology

2006-10-17T04:57:00.000-07:00

:-)

Dear reader,

I feel I must apologize for an error I made in the last post about the nonsensical slogans printed on children's garments in Riyadh's supermarkets. I listed my favourite as a pair of boy's pyjamas bearing the legend:

The Darkest
Three days old
Has trod fish smell

This is, of course, nonsense.

I returned to the supermarket last night (Karen sent me out to get chocolate), so thought I'd take advantage of the opportunity to do a little sanity checking by having a second look.

Of course I was mistaken and had not grasped the full text (perhaps I was the victim of some censorial shoulder-stitching). The correct slogan is:

The darkest hour is da
Are three days old
Black ox has trod fish smell

Glad to have cleared that up, and sorry for the confusion.

Shopping During Ramadan

2006-10-16T00:04:00.000-07:00

Author's note: I know what I said yesterday about not writing about Riyadh on this blog, but it is, after all, for me to talk about what cheers me up and winds me up in daily life, and daily life is in Riyadh, so I guess it's OK for this blog and Neal Of Arabia to cross-pollinate from time to time...

:-) Lost in Translation
Outside of Ramadan the shops close four times per day for prayer time, re-opening after about 30 minutes. Every store or mall has either a mosque nearby or a prayer room with mats facing Mecca so that the staff can pray. During prayer time the shutters come down, new customers are not admitted and no business can be transacted, but in some shops customers already inside are allowed to remain there and browse until prayer time is over. We regularly time our supermarket shopping trips to coincide with "lock-in", so that we can work around prayer times and still get our weekly food shopping done. It's quite nice being shut in a large supermarket: the lights dim, the staff all disappear and you are more or less alone in the store (there are others partaking in the lock-in, but in a superstore the size of Carrefour you're not likely to see them).
This happened to Karen and me the other day, when we had almost finished our shopping, forcing us to spend the half-hour of voluntary captivity browsing the non-food section.

At times like this and when we've got nothing better to do (and there isn't much better to do here), we like to amuse ourselves by reading signs and labels that have lost something in the translation from Arabic to English, such as this message on a little wooden sign sticking out of the ice on the frozen fish counter:

DEFROS ADVICE
TO MOT BE FROSTED IT AGAIN

Even funnier are the children's clothes. The Saudi budget clothing market seems to have latched on to the idea that it's cool to have children's T-Shirts, pyjamas etc. with slogans printed on them in English. Sporting an English slogan on your chest must tell fellow Saudis: "Hey, look at me. I'm sophisticated and cool because I'm into English fashions!" This is quite sad because, not only are these the worst taste garments imaginable - with fringes in places that should be a fringe-free zone (i.e. the entire garment), and colours that I never knew existed let alone should be allowed out in public - but they also bear the most bizarre legends that have obviously been written by someone who cares more about spattering the front of the shirt with English characters than delivering a meaningful message. Here then are some examples of real phrases that you can buy printed on bad-taste clothing in Riyadh (and I guarantee there are NO typos here - every one appears exactly as I've written it):

On a girl's T-Shirt (bright orange with the slogan down the left and a Bratz-style cartoon chick down the right)
SPOPPNNG
DLARY
ON
THEIR

On a toddler's T-Shirt (various dayglo colours available):
Whatever
how nice you look
a friend is

On a teenage boy's shirt:
hip hopchaofa boys king

On a small boy's shirt (age 5):
Served hot wateroff
Should be served
toooed off
Morning Pleasu
Hot water esoresso served
This was obviously once about espresso being served with hot water and topped off with something, but somewhere along the line the tails of the "p's" were lost and no-one noticed. The same no-one also noticed that it is complete gobbledegook.

On girl's pyjamas
All the splendour in the world
is not worth a good frinds

And my personal favourite, on a pair of boy's pyjamas:
The darkest
Three days old
Has trod fish smell

It's like each phrase began life making some kind of sense to somebody, but got hideously mutilated during its journey from conception to hanger. I have a picture in my mind of the phrase's epic journey, beginning in the mind of a "designer" in the clothing company, then travelling to the place where the slogan is printed via a tortuous route of fag packet scribblings, coffee-stained faxes and muffled telephone instructions.

Whatever slipshod, half-hearted, error-check-free process they follow, the end result makes us giggle in supermarkets.

:-( Closed
Apart from the odd consolation (see above), shopping hours are a pain in the neck for expats. This is especially true during Ramadan, becuase the shops all close for about 4-5 hours from 4 - 8.30 or 9pm for Iftar so that Muslims can break their fast at sunset. This is in addition to the regular prayer time closings - not instead of. They try to compensate by staying open late, most until 2am, but thats not much use to us when the children have school next day.
Yesterday I got to Saco World at about 3pm to return a faulty humidifier, only to see the shutters coming down as I pulled into the car park. I managed to squeeze in past the security guard in time to get locked in, so that I could spend the half-hour browsing for a replacement. All went well until the shop re-opened at around 3.40, only then to announce that it was closing again at 4pm until 9 that evening! I managed to make my purchase and dash out before being locked in forever!

Inspiration

2006-10-15T12:22:00.000-07:00

:-( Frustrating
Having set this blog up for daily postings I'm now starting to feel the pressure of HAVING to write something every day. It's even more annoying in light of the fact that I really want to get into the habit of blogging on a daily basis but I can't seem to get my thoughts organised within that timeframe.
I've got so many things that I like and dislike, and I know I want to write about all of htem, but which first, and what do I want to say on each subject?

There's my Top & Bottom Ten, which I feel warrants some explanation, but I can't get motivated to do that right now. I find what comes easiest is to write on whatever topic has been foremost in my thoughts during the day, but that too is difficult right now because the two things I'm thinking about most are: shopping hours during Ramadan here in Riyadh (because those postings belong on Neal Of Arabia, not here), and the leading scientist, author nad atheist Richard Dawkins, whose latest book - The God Delusion - I have just started reading. I don't want to write about Religion and the Creation vs. Evolution debate because that's not what this blog is about.
The difficulties of posting good stuff every day is what has been occupying my thoughts most today, so I guess that's why I've written this.

Another Fine Mess / Marvellous

2006-10-14T12:11:00.000-07:00

:-) Laurel & Hardy
Masters of Comedy. There really is no other way to describe the genius partnership of Laurel & Hardy. Even though their heyday was in the 1930s they still hold a special place in most critics' comedy Hall of Fame.
Whenever I feel like laughing I have plenty of high quality comedy at hand: Monty Python, The Office, Phoenix Nights, Fawlty Towers, I could go on and on. But when I want a real belly laugh from beginning to end I choose Stan & Ollie.
There is so much to love. The relationship between Stan's head-scratching, eyebrow-raising, self-effacing fool and Ollie's pompous, self-important buffoon. Ollie is convinced that he's in charge and that Stan couldn't do anything without him. Stan has him sussed really but lets him get away with it nonetheless. The big stuff - the relationship - is funny in itself but there are so many little details that make me laugh too: Ollie's tie-twiddling and chuckling anytime he meets a young lady, his intricate and graceful body movement and hand gestures (despite his large frame). Stan's simple smile and expressive eyebrows. The bowler hats - keystone of many a gag.
Their timeless humour is as endearing today as it must have been eighty years ago; I'm smiling just thinking about it.
If you have never really got into L&H then I heartily recommend that you do. Their official website (not sure who decided this should be the official one, since they both died before the internet as we know it was born, but still) is a good source of background info, and there are many DVDs available quite cheaply on Amazon each containing three or four shorts.

Here are my Top Ten L&H classics:
Towed In A Hole
Brats
Twice Two
Oliver The Eighth
Tit for Tat
Scram
Busy Bodies
Way Out West
County Hospital
The Music Box

:-( Marvellous
I have a confession to make. I don't actually say, "Bloody marvellous!" very much. In fact I hardly say it at all. I just say, "Marvellous" on its own. Why then is my blog called, Bloody Marvellous? Good question. Because "marvellous.blogspot.com" was already taken, that's why.
That's the thing about blog names and websites - each name has to be unique, so if someone has already taken a name it's not available to anyone else. I visited marvellous.blogspot.com to see what all the fuss is about, and what do I find? Dreary Steven of Dublin.
About all I can say that is positive about this blog is that the background is a nice design. The rest is just awful. For a start it contains only one entry, and that - as far as I can gather - was written in 2001! It's also depressing, going about how miserable he is, not looking forward to going back to school etc. What a waste of a good url!
Surely Blogger must have some kind of statute of limitations or something so that people like me who say "Marvellous" all the time and want to moan about stuff can have the blog name they really want, and people like Dreary Steven need to earn the right to continue using a name by actually using it.

..
Ah...

What if poor Steven was really depressed about his life and starting the blog was a call for help? Perhaps if he never wrote again after the first entry then... oh dear.

Steven, if you're out there leave a comment to let us know you're still around, and if you are still around, either use your blog properly or give the name back to Blogger so I can use it!

Is it bad taste to suggest the establishment of a domain/blog name donor card?

Conversation / Conversation

2006-10-13T13:02:00.000-07:00

:-) Party Talk
I attend a lot of parties here, much more than when we were in the UK. I guess the main reason is that there are a lot of parties going on, but it's also because I'm very popular. :-)

I've never been very comfortable engaging in small talk with people I don't know very well, so this recent social activity has forced me to work on my conversation skills so that I have something interesting to say, while avoiding boring people to death.

A good conversation is a roughly equal exchange in which both / all parties are interesting and interested in the other(s). I want to come away from it having learned something about the other person while they too have learned something about me, and ideally both our perspectives on life are modified a little from hearing what the other person has to say, no matter how small the change.

It feels nice when others show an interest in me and my life (as long as it is sincere), and I, like anyone I suppose, like to talk about myself. The trick is to tell a little then return the favour. In this way both parties feel interesting and interested, and time can fly by.

I've met some very interesting, bright, lively people since moving to Riyadh, people whom I would never had had the chance to meet in the UK. People who have lived all over the World, who have fought in recent conflicts, who have met Presidents, Prime Ministers and Royalty, and people whose job it is to protect others.

Party conversation doesn't come naturally to me so I have to work at it, but it's worth the effort.

:-( Bores
Who's the most interesting person in the World? Why, Me of course! Don't we all think that? Sure, we admire friends, teachers, movie stars and politicians, but deep down the person we care most about is ourselves. Isn't it natural therefore to want to tell the world how interesting you are? Of course it is. However, for you to be able to hold a good conversation you have to acknowledge that, while really you know you're the most interesting one in the exchange, the other person mistakenly believes he or she is, so in order not to turn them off asking more questions about you (which is what you want) you have to stop talking about how great you are and let them have a go once in a while.

A Bore does not have this awareness. A Bore knows they are the most interesting and thinks everyone else around the table agrees with them. They're wrong, very wrong. How can people be so self-centered and insensitive? Is there more to it than plain insensitivity and egotism? Maybe people become Bores as a symptom of some unpleasant past experience. Maybe it's a defence/coping mechanism for some hang-up. I don't really care, I just want them to shut up and recognize that there are other people in the room. True, you may be able to make your excuses and "mingle", but it isn't always that easy to get away, and it can ruin a night out for me to get stuck with a Bore all evening.

Bores don't have to be boring people who have boring jobs, that's not the point. I'm not judging anyone's life to be boring. What's boring is they never shut up about it. Uh-oh, just felt a sting of self-consciousness: isn't "talking about onesself incessantly" what defines blogging? Oh my God, I've just realised that, in blogging, I'm likely to exhibit Bore behaviour. I'll try to minimize that but, essentially, Bloody Marvellous and Neal Of Arabia are all about my favourite subject... Me.

Want to turn this monologue into a conversation? Leave a comment.

I'll start:
"So, where are you going on holiday next year?"

Good time / no time

2006-10-12T09:12:00.000-07:00

:-) Busy weekend
Quiz night (our team came second)
Meeting at school to prepare for Abigail's first Swim Meet (she's in the Senior Elite team)
Shopping for a friend's birthday present
Halloween Party
Grown-ups birthday party
Swim Meet

:-( No time
No time to blog properly!

Poker / Googlewhacking

2006-10-11T01:07:00.000-07:00

:-) Men Playing Poker
Spent a very enjoyable evening on Monday playing Poker with three buddies. I brought my own Poker parephenalia with me when we came out to Riyadh but have only recently blown the dust off to provide the menfolk with a refuge during the monthly Book Club meeting where our wives drink books and talk about wine.
My "kit" consists of a fold-out poker table complete with chip racks and drinks holders that I bought from Firebox, and an aluminium case of 500 casino-grade chips that I bought in the Walmart in Orem, Utah last year for $30.
Playing poker with other blokes is a fascinating, absorbing and - dare I say it - intimate experience that can teach you a lot about your friends and yourself. The poker face, bluff and double-bluff, randomly altering your bluffing behaviour or level of betting to prevent other players from "sussing you out" (a bit like running away in an erratic zigzag pattern to avoid being shot). All of this evasive action being done at the same time as trying to suss out the others around the table: "Is that guy really a conservative player who folds unless he's got a high pair, or is he just fattening me up for the kill?" It's a great way to get to know people, and even better if you have a regular ebb and flow of well-known and less well-known players.
...and we don't even play for money! (yet)

:-( Googlewhacked Out
To paraphrase Douglas Adams, The internet is big. Very big. I mean, you might think it's a long way to the end of this blog entry (and it is), but that's just peanuts to the internet"
There are a lot of web pages out there. I just went to Google and typed, "How many web pages are there?" into the search box, and got 231,000,000 hits. So that means there are over 200 million web pages just about how many web pages there are (I wonder if they counted themselves?). Anyway the point is that there are a lot, about 11.5 billion in total (I haven't counted them personally but I know a couple of people who might have tried). In all that massive amout of text, what are the chances that any combination of two words exists on only one page in the whole internet?
This is the anatomy of a Googlewhack - a combination of just two words (without quotation marks) that, when typed into Google, returns one - and only one - hit.

The phenomenon isn't new. In fact people have been finding Googlewhacks for years. Dave Gorman even wrote a book about his Googlewhack adventures.

The thing is, as time passes and the internet continues to grow, Googlewhacks are becoming more and more scarce. I don't know what brought this to mind this morning (that's how my mind works - things pop in and out uninvited), but I decided that, since I have a kind of netherworld period between 8am and 10am during the week when I'm the only Novell person awake, I should invest an hour or so in trying to find my very own Googlewhack.

What a complete waste of time!

The trick is to think of two unusual or archaic words that probably don't appear that much on the internet at all, then combine them in unlikely ways to further extend the odds of both appearing on the same page. For example, supernova splashdown is a bad combination choice because both words have space exploration connotations and are therefore more likely to appear on the same page. Faeces splashdown is similarly not to be recommended. Better by far are combos like candelabra motherboard: two completely unrelated words on the face of it but I found 16,800 webmasters who would disagree.

If you actually find a Googlewhack you can register it in the whack shack at Googlewhack.com: 15 minutes of fame indeed!

So, here are the edited highlights (and I do mean edited: the full list is very long) of my fruitless hunt for a Googlewhack this morning:-

1. fairy microphone - 423,000
what a pathetic first attempt. Neither word is very unusual and I can think of, ooh around 400,000 examples of why fairies would use microphones. Must try harder.

2. candelabra transmission - 45,700
Better, I'm now down to sub 100,000 hits which in internet numbers is pretty darn small. Disappointed with choice of "transmission" but like "candelabra" Who says candelabra these days? let's press Hold on candelabra and mix up the second word.

3. candelabra virus - 47,300
Idiot. Virus, Internet, HELLOOOO!

4. candelabra geyser - 815
NOW we're cooking with gas! Under a thousand hits! This is going to be easier than I thought.

5. candelabra splashdown - 414
Almost there...

6. candelabra flange - 21,600
DOH!

7. candelabra eruption - 14,600
coming back down

8. candelabra checkpoint - 941
that's more like it, back under the 1,000 mark

9. candelabra biometric - 1,490
believe it or not there are lots of sites that talk about the light from candelabras messing up light sensors on biometric security devices. Learn something new every day.

10. candelabra subroutine - 292
New Record! that's the ticket - combine something beautiful and ornate with a computer term. Let's try another one...

11. candelabra motherboard - 16,800
WHAT?? Bang goes that theory!

12. candelabra pothole - 709
13. candelabra orbit - 20,700
there I go again, choosing unwisely. Maybe having candelabra at the front is jinxing me. Let's make that the second word...

14. robust candelabra - 30,300
bugger

15. digested candelabra - 708
back on track...

16. stalwart candelabra - 13,200
getting a bit fed up with candelabras

17. faeces candelabra - 379
better but still not good enough. I'm finding the word faeces strangely attractive

18. balletic faeces - 179
faeces is the new candelabra! I'm onto a winner

19. domineering faeces - 503
20. overcast faeces - 905
21. interstellar faeces - 1,330
22. regalia faeces - 810
the top hit reads, "Carol Vorderman to eat own faeces for Oxfam." The page doesn't load. I know, let's give my computer terminology a try

23. faeces subroutine - 339
damn. Going to drop faeces - back in ten minutes

24. bilious subroutine - 275
25. dispepsia subroutine - 11
!!! Only 11 hits! I can almost taste the Googlewhack!

26. conjoined subroutine - 761
27. tricycle subroutine - 612
Hmm, unicycle must be rarer than tricycle.

28. unicycle subroutine - 1,500
didn't expect that. First hit is Nat Friedman's blog. Nat works for Novell and is a luminary in the Linux/Open Source world. I'm not at all surprised that he talks about unicycle subroutines.

29. foxglove subroutine - 397
liking foxglove. It takes over

30. foxglove vagrant - 733
31. foxblove rudimentary - 700
32. foxglove dementia - 166
33. foxglove dispepsia - 34
There's dispepsia giving me a good score again! It takes over

34. railing dispepsia - 16
good old dispepsia!

35. awning dispepsia - 16
I notice the first line of the results page, "Did you mean awning dyspepsia?" Gaahhh! I've been mis-spelling it! couldn't live with myself if I got a bogus mis-spelled Googlewhack. I'm too much of a perfectionist. Better retry all my dispepsia combos with the correct spelling.

36. awning dyspepsia - 807
bugger

37. railing dyspepsia - 10,600
arse

38. dyspepsia subroutine - 247 (up from 11 first time)
Bloody Marvellous!

Time to start work. If you manage to find a Googlewhack I won't give you anything. I'll just hate you.

DNRC / "What did he say?"

2006-10-10T03:57:00.000-07:00

:-) Dilbert's New Ruling Class

My favourite funny writer has to be the late, great, Douglas Adams. The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and Dirk Gently series were just brilliant, and he was a Macintosh user too - what more can I say? Also somewhere deserving of mention in my top ten is Tom Hartman - once my manager and still a friend and colleague at Novell who writes hilariously about his life and travels at Symbiotic Publishing. He's not going to win any spelling competitions but he makes up for it by being very funny.
Anyway, I mention this to plug my second-favourite funny writer: Scott Adams (Wow, my number 1 and number 2 are both called Adams. If you write funny stuff and your name is Adams drop me a line, and if you make me laugh you stand a good chance of being in my Top Ten Writers Called Adams). Scott is the creator of the famous Dilbert cartoons, in which Dilbert survives from day to day despite the antics of his Pointy Haired Boss and numerous other characters. Adams uses the alter-ego of Dilbert to lampoon modern-day management fads and jargon, particularly as it relates to the software industry, and they regularly cheer me up by falling into my inbox every day.

Go on, cheer yourself up by subscribing to the Daily Dilbert.

An added advantage to doing so - and even funnier actually - is that you will also get the monthly Dilbert's New Ruling Class newsletter, in which Adams celebrates that lower life form known as In-DUH-viduals. To whet your appetite here are a few excerpts from the latest newsletter, reproduced here with kind permission of Mr. Adams:-

TRUE TALES OF INDUHVIDUALS
==========================

Here now, more true tales of Induhviduals as reported by vigilant DNRC members:

There was a question in our company newsletter asking about whether they could water the flowers in the bathrooms since they were looking wilted and sick. The response was "The flowers are artificial."
[Editor’s note: Evidently some employee created a restroom gas cloud powerful enough to wilt artificial plants. You have to admire that on some level.]

==

So a few friends and I were at a museum, and they had this wall of analog clocks with a city name written under each one, showing what time it was around the world. We had about ten clocks in view, when my friend looks at a clock, looks at his watch, looks at the clock again, and says, “Well, this one’s pretty close, but all the others are way off.”

==

While working for a leather company, we were chatting in the lab about food. One of the other lab technicians pondered aloud, "I wonder why you never get the skin on beef?"

==

Every time my husband gets a new temp assignment, he gets a new security badge. The temp stands against the wall and the camera – generally in a fixed position – snaps the ID photo. My husband uses a wheelchair. So his security picture features the blank wall above his head.

==

On a canal boating holiday, the boat had a shower, with a stirrup pump that pumped excess water through the side of the hull.
A friend (an engineer) asked “Why didn't they put the hole in the bottom of the boat?”

==

I went to a local pizza restaurant and asked about the difference between a large and a medium pizza. The Induhvidual told me the large pizza had 10 slices and the medium had 8 slices. I told her to take one of the large pizzas, cut it into 8 slices, and I would pay for a medium. She just stared at me like I had asked her a question about Euclidian Geometry.

If you would like this in your inbox every month, go to dilbert.com and subscribe. You won't regret it.

:-( Mumbling Actors

Something that Scott Adams and I - and thousands of others judging by the comments on his blog - have in common is an exasperation with actors who mumble. For a while now I've been wondering if I'm going slowly deaf (my family would support this diagnosis but they're wrong), because I'm find it increasingly hard to hear what people are saying in movies. I now know it's not just me. Not only has Scott written about it on his blog but Karen and I have been to the film club in Riyadh a couple of times recently and both times the organizer had to pause the film a few minutes in and re-start it, with subtitles. This happened with Capote (great film), and also with The New World (turgid, you'll sleep right through it).

What is it with filmmakers these days? It seems almost as if the actors have been told to mutter/whisper their lines. Anyway, Scott describes it better than I ever could: read the blog entry.

Bloody Marvellous!

2006-10-09T01:41:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my all new second blog. If you haven't come here from my other blog Neal of Arabia then go there immediately and do your homework before proceeding!

In writing Neal of Arabia I've found that I seem to rant a lot about stuff I like and stuff I hate, so I thought I'd give those thoughts their own series!

Every day (well... maybe) I'll list here something that has brought me pleasure and something that has pissed me off. The idea was kind of inspired by Clare's Three Beautiful Things, which has just made it to Blogger's Blogs Of Note - congrats Clare. In 3BT she lists three things that have brought her pleasure every day. That's all well and good but, well, I'm just not that happy. Well I guess I am happy but I also like to wallow in my grumpy moments and rant about things that get my goat. Enter Bloody Marvellous, where you'll get a slice of reality, warts 'n' all, with (I hope) joy and moans in equal measure, and a laugh either way.

OK, here goes....

:-) Shiver of anticipation
I've always been a keen photographer, but have recently decided to get a little more serious about it (the new camera helped). So I've entered some of my existing work into the British Journal of Photography Award competition, and also submitted a small number of images to their Reader's Gallery. I don't expect to win anything but the waiting-to-hear is a pleasure in itself. Does that make me weird? I remember even as a small child getting a real buzz out of waiting for a parcel to come in the post, with the feeling when the post arrives minus-parcel more good than bad, because it meant I'd get another 24 hours of anticipation. I still get it now, waiting for stuff to arrive from Amazon, only now it's once a week instead of every day.

:-( Broken gadgets
Last night Karen was out so I decided to watch one of my favourite films: Koyaanisqatsi. Made in 1982, this masterpiece by Godfrey Reggio with music by Philip Glass contrasts the tranquil beauty of nature with the hustle & bustle of modern life. If you haven't seen it, go and buy it.
The name Koyaanisqatsi apparently comes from the Hopi Indian language and means, "Life out of balance".
I dropped the DVD into the tray of my Philips Home Entertainment System and sat back, ready for my senses to be assailed, then: DISC ERROR appears on the screen. NNoooo! After several attempts at cleaning the disc (which looked pretty clean to start with) it still doesn't work, although it plays perfectly on our Macintosh computer (go figure). Does this mean my pride and joy home cinema is about to go kaputt??? I hate it when essential gadgets like telly stop working! It's well out of warranty but - this being Riyadh - the warranty would be worthless here anyway.

Talk about life out of balance!